Preface

Rodrigo da Rocha Loures

old pond -
frog jumps in
sound of water

Almost at the end of my reading of this book, I found a pearl: Zen Master Basho’s haiku, which he wrote while on a journey to Oku, an inhospitable and mysterious region of Japan. The poems written during this journey resulted in a book intriguingly called “Narrow Road to the Interior: A Travel Diary”. Below, I transcribe a text where Tereza, in a profound reflection, shares with us what she sees:

“It must have been a hot summer day: a frog, anxious to cool off its skin, and he meditating on the margin of a lake. Suddenly, Basho is interrupted by the soud of a frog jumping into the water. And he immediately writes one of the most translated poems in the world.”

“I compare the quietness of the place, the stillness of the water, and the compulsory call to reality for both the poet and people like us, who in the face of a new fact in life are suddenly obliged to look at the world with different eyes. Like many, we see ourselves as an old pond of still water, quiet, with an absolutely smooth and perfect surface. Until, all of a sudden, a frog jumps and stirs up this apparent quietness. Noise, splash, chrystaline water spray.”

…And suddenly, through this epiphany that only poetry can bring about, I understood that the entire experience that brought this book into being was fully contained in this haiku.

In Bashô’s “old tank”, water represents life.

The contact of the frog with the water surface is an incident that begins as just a small stir, but goes on growing until it creates a new reality that changes the old pond completely.

And, finally, there is the frog and the act of leaping.

From the combination of the poem’s three symbols – “old pond”, “frog’s leap”, and “water movement” – results Hope.

The hope of changing, connoted by the frog’s leap metaphor, the uncertainties and fears experienced in space and time spent between the start and finishing points, undergoing the inevitable journey to the unknown while in the air without the security provided by the ground, can mean both life and death, a one-way adventure.

Having jumped, the frog is suspended, unsupported, having before him just the expectation of where and when he will feel safe again. He is setting out on a journey with no guarantees, but where Hope is renewed.

This is how, facing Life and Death; Fear and Courage; Sickness and Cure, and standing behind their decision to jump, that Bia and Tereza set out on a journey of Faith.

Hope

From the day she was born, 25 years ago, Bia and her family have had to look for a cure to a congenital disease. Doctors, appointments, exams, rooms – not just waiting rooms – but also rooms filled with meetings and separations from other patients, hopes, frustrations. Too many years...!

But…, one day, like in the old pond, something new happened, and the waters were stirred. Tereza and Bia went to a hospital in São Paulo to give Christmas presents to doctors and friends. The, in a hallway, totally unexpectedly, they meet Izamar and Rafaela, mother and daughter who were there for the same purpose. They were long time friends from “good old” waiting rooms and, Rafaela, who had suffered from the same disease, was now completely healed.

Izamar and Rafaela said that they had tried to locate Tereza and her daughter, so that Bia could contact the same American medical team that had treated Rafaela. And just as the frog took the quiet surface of the water by surprise, stirring it up with new movements, with incommensurable and unforeseeable irradiating and expanding effects, a new hope for cure rippled through Bia’s and Tereza’s hearts.

The Appreciative Look:

“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is sound, your whole body will be full of light; but if your eye is not sound, your whole body will be full of darkness.”(Mt. 6: 22-23)
This biblical look certainly accompanied Bia and Tereza, which is confirmed by the following statement:

nd so it was that in the morning of March 10, a few hours after Bia’s surgery, still worried and sleepless, I took pictures of the sunrise. The sun, rising from the early morning darkness illuminating, little by little, buildings, trees, cars, people, translated all the faith and hope for cure I had in God and Dr. Suen and his knowledgeable team. To me it meant the light that would brighten up Bia’s future path. And so, I thought of her bathed in light, ready to shine in all her splendor as God’s child.”

Tereza makes it very clear to us what was the look she chose to adopt.

But the Bible also tells us that Faith without concrete action is dead. So, Tereza (Caregiver) got ready to go to work, guided by her heart, presenting not only her daughter, but also all of those she is in contact with – including us, the readers of this book and testimony – with a gift of Love.

An Appreciative Inquiry

Tereza says the success of her journey is the result of her training in Appreciative Inquiry. This learning and personal/organizational development methodology created by David Cooperrider has been extremely successful everywhere it has been properly applied. I am a witness of its effectiveness, both in my personal life and in Nutrimental – a company I participate in – and in several programs at FIEP.

Traditionally, many people, and even organizations, for that matter, see themselves as a problem to be solved, and the work method they adopt start with the creation of a list of problems. They look for the root causes and then they set out to devise and implement solutions. The main frame of reference for this kind of planning hinges on the past.

There is a big difference between this method and Appreciative Inquiry. In the latter, the focus is not on the problem, but rather in the construction of a desirable future based on strengths. The individual, or the organization, stop being perceived as a problem to be solved and are instead seen as the solution itself, as potential, as a mystery to be unveiled and developed.

One aspect that differentiates Appreciative Inquiry from other personal development methodologies is that images of the future emerge from positive examples occurred in the past. These images become viable because they are based on extraordinary moments of the individual’s, or the organization’s, existence. The principal frame of reference for planning is the future we want to create.

Its basic work tool is the Appreciative Interview Protocol; a critical part carefully developed to guide the whole learning and change effort. The ingenious and creative book-manual written by Tereza and Bia exhibit the properties of a self-applicable appreciative research script, geared to the recovery of human potential, and having as its motto the ethics of care.

Instilled with this elevated purpose, Tereza and Bia share with the reader, suggestions and attitudes that can change the daily routines of both Caregiver and the Loved One (Care Recipient) into something positive and enriching. But what we learn as we go on turning the pages is not what the book suggests in concrete terms. It is, rather, an exercise of sensitivity that our spirit, little by little, is being exposed to.

This sensitivity actually becomes the effective tool of change, as if, gradually and aware of the impact that everything around us has on our feelings, we woke up from a kind of anesthesia and, coming out of this immobility, we generated in ourselves the movements needed for cure. And, once again, I think that, “if the eye is sound (loving), all our whole body will be full of light [and healthy].”

” eyes, together with the “physical” ones, chose to perceive from then on, what love is, and then, beginning with this book, the two of them start being filled with light and showing, as if with a lantern, how to exercise the Christ in our lives.


“Give Christ to the world, don’t keep Him for yourself; and doing so, do it with your hands.” – Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Tereza and Bia changed static energy (potential), the feeling of pure and free love, into kinetic energy. That is, “practical actions of love”. What they are proposing here is to illustrate how in everyday life, step by step, from an attitude of love, an appreciative attitude, and “good eyes”, they were sensitized by the practices of love, and how it acted positively in the molecules of their bodies – explained by quantum physics – allowing cure to find its way in.

Looking at Bia (Loved One), we see her physical cure and can be sure that, in her soul and spirit, Tereza (Caregiver) was also healed. And very likely, all of those who were so close to them throughout the whole process – medical team, group of friends from Little Rock – were also healed in some degree.

So, infused with kinetic energy, some molecules activated others and were all equally benefited. Otherwise, how else could we understand Teresa of Calcutta’s touching the untouchables, witnessing and working amidst so much suffering, while at the same time staying healthy enough to go on giving more and more?!

The Ethics of Care

Giving care is at the core of human nature. It establishes a relationship of affection with reality. For such, we must use our thought, our senses, perceptions, and relationships, simultaneously. Daniel Goleman, in his book called Emotional Intelligence, quotes advanced studies about the movement of neurons in the human brain, which show that its first reaction is affection. Thought kicks in only after a few seconds.

That is, we feel reality before thinking about it. We believe that this inner device is part of a divine self-protection logic that impels us to watch over one another, and, ultimately, ensure life on this planet.

This book-manual, wisely and lovingly written by Tereza and Bia is a living example of these premises, and suggests that the Ethics of Care is the path leading to individual and global cure. The pungent story of the authors’ lives reveals the extraordinary power of our senses, when they are properly supported by loving solidarity relationships in touch with our divine dimension. Its spiritual level is a source of inspiration and strength, while its technical side provides a method.

We are at the brink of destroying our biosphere. Today’s world is sick and begs to be guided by a new set of expectations – migration from an EGO-based system to an ECO-based one. Everything points to the urgent need for Care. Development of a new attitude, and practical knowledge, become critical for healing both the parts (individuals-communities) and the whole (humankind-nature). We are now faced with a unique mobilization opportunity in which to build a New Culture, that of the Ethics of Care.

Much has been said about ethics, but these words and concepts grow to be dry and hollow if they do not contemplate the practical and deep side of care and support that it implies – its spiritual and social dimensions. The Ethics of Care happens through correct action. This book-manual is the authors’ contribution to all of those who feel the calling to join the ranks of care.

This calling is implied in the intriguing quote from I CHING, at the end of this book. This source of millennial knowledge suggests that, as the praxis of care is disseminated, the building of a new culture will be taking place. A change of community behaviors. A natural transformation of the world. Because when we do something good, we are automatically included as part of the energy chain created by this gesture, and become partially responsible for the process until the very end. A growing number of individuals have been sensitized by this ethics. However, the great challenge lies in reinforcing humanity through the Ethics of Care.

This book does its part. It basically shows us how through positive relationships (Appreciative), how going through life with a good eye, and doing good, we are led towards cure, which, in turn comes from love. Tereza and Bia, in their mother-daughter relationship, found in their own frames of reference daily exercises and thorough and caring practices in everything they saw or did. Thus, their days were filled with light and cure through their loving eyes. The beneficial effects can be felt until now, in the production of this book, which includes suggestions which, practiced under the spirit of faith, love, and charity, are reflected in Luke 6:38: “give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For the measure you give will be the measure you get back.”

Tereza and Bia chose the best part, that of practicing Love.