The essential touch

Touching, the essential stroke was there with us in our days spent in Little Rock.

“I remember – even while under the effect of morphine – the way my mother massaged me: hands, arms, feet and legs to prevent embolism; the smell of the lavender oil she used to perfume my body during the time I remained bed-ridden, since I went for two weeks without taking a real bath; the constant “cleaning the face and eyes” with a soft tissue; my hand in her hand; the way she combed me; trimmed my nails; the immersion baths she prepared with floral essences, as soon as I could enjoy them. And how I was delighted to feel the freshness of a scented creme on my skin. The warmth and tenderness of the embrace and kiss when she tucked me in at night. All of these moments were very important during my recovery process.” – Bia

In my investigations to find out why touching and stroking are so important in the healing process, I discovered that they play a critical role in our lives. In fact, medical studies revealed delayed psychological and physical development in children who are deprived of physical contact, even if they are well fed and well taken care of. They also prove that premature babies that are massaged gain weight 50% faster than children that are not. They cry less, have a better temper, and are less irritable. They also sleep better and have less apnea.

And even later in life, as adults, we are so deprived of essential touching that unconsciously we go after professional touching in the hands of physicians, hairdressers, masseurs, dance instructors, beauticians, barbers, gynecologists, pedicures, just to mention a few. And we visit “palaces” of touch: discos, dance halls, shoe shiners, bath houses. We also see doctors, physiotherapists, chiropractors, Shiatsu and Reiki professionals to be touched, massaged, heard, inspected, and dealt with in several ways when we feel the body as a whole is not well.

A simple loving touch, which some people see as therapeutic – a hug, holding hands, a kiss on the cheek – can improve people’s health. It has been proven that it drastically reduces post-surgical pain and the need for analgesics, that it reduces headaches caused by tension by 90%, and that it minimizes anxiety in patients hospitalized for long periods of time.

Touching someone is as therapeutic as being touched: the person doing it benefits from it just as the person receiving it.

AND BECAUSE IT IS SO ESSENTIAL…

Massage the Loved One’s body with hydrating or refreshing lotions.
Massage stimulates circulation, dilates blood vessels, relaxes tense muscles and eliminates body toxins through the lymphatic system.

Give immersion baths, if possible. Use soothing bath foam scented with aromas like lavender, for instance.

Wash the Loved One’s hair and comb it nicely and, perhaps, in different ways to change the daily routine.

If the Loved One is a woman, apply some makeup. If it is a child, paint the child’s face with special paints!

Blindfold the person and ask him or her to identify the objects they are touching. If it is an adult, ask them to identify those that remind them of treasured moments. If it is a child, her favorite toys. And what about bringing them animals? Their pet dog or cat?

Write letters with them. Letters to be mailed from the post office. If possible, go through the ritual of writing, folding, putting them in an envelope, addressing the envelope, sticking the stamp. If not, leave something for the Loved One to do and feel useful during this activity.

Cut out interesting or unusal pieces of news cartoons, and comments from newspapers. I used to do that when I was in Little Rock.
The simple involvement in cutting out, writing, folding paper, and addressing an envelope is already great exercise; and meaningful involvement.

Get small souvenirs for nurses, interns, and people in charge of cleaning. Ask the Loved One to help you buy them (if possible). Or ask him or her to help you wrap them; always use colorful paper, of different textures. Give him or her the chance to hand out the gifts.

Always choose bright colored clothes that feel good to the touch for you and the Loved One to wear. Just to show you how clothing is important: my grandfather, on his deathbed, feeling the fabric of my grandmother’s dress asked her – “Why don’t you wear something nicer? You should spend less in your children’s clothes”. In his delirium, my grandfather did not notice that she was wearing a kind of silk that felt a little crumpled to the touch, but very expensive.